Episode 14- Alvin and the Chipmunks

We extend a belated (thanks to some computer issues) Christmas present to everyone, a second holiday episode of Saturday Morning Deathgrip. 

For this episode, we watched the episode of Alvin & the Chipmunks called "Merry Christmas, Mr. Carroll" which you'd never guess from the title, but it's an adaptation of Dicken's A Christmas Carol. 

In this episode we discus The Codcast (check your local listings!), who David Seville is not related to, the saddest old man in pop culture history, Richard Dreyfuss movies for way too long, and then we antagonize Simon and Theodore in the interview segment. Everything you want from a holiday episode.

Listen on iTunes, Stitcher or right here, rate, email us, whatever you want. Tell your friends. Happy New Year! 

By request, if you want to watch this episode- click here and you'll see "Merry Christmas, Mr. Carroll"

Episode 13- X-men

We sure do love Holiday episodes, don't we? Because here we are with a Christmas episode of SMDG. And what a Christmas it is. We, in fact, had ourselves a Morlock little Christmas, as we watched the episode of X-men "Have yourself a Morlock Little Christmas".  

We bucked our normal trend of watching things we despise by watching something we (at least three of us) genuinely love. But that doesn't mean we had nothing to talk about. I even think we avoided getting too technically detailed for you non-X-fans out there, weirdos though you may be. In this episode we discuss the origins of television via catheter ray tubs, who would win a fight between Jean Grey and Gambit (Jean Grey), the crimefighting team of Paper & Currency, the difference between Tim and GC's fanfictions about Rogue, and our greatest concept yet, the Fart Cube.

We also interview Callisto, leader of the Morlocks, who, for a one-eyed genetic freak covered in scars that lives in the sewers, isn't really doing that well for herself.

Listen on iTunes, Stitcher or right here, and have a Very Morlock Christmas!

Episode 12- Care Bears

Hey folks. It's late November, the trees have all changed, there is turkey on our tables, Black Fridays that for some reason start on Thursday or even Wednesday at K-Mart, and we watched a Thanksgiving episode of an 80's classic, Care Bears. 

By classic, we mean, why did anyone watch this ever?

In this episode we discuss at length the horrible idea of naming two of your characters "hugs" and "tugs", the importance of the traditional Thanksgiving speech in front of the whole town, how a small gas mining operation in the clouds may be too small to attract the notice of the Empire, and life-sized microwaves. That's right.

Also, we should apologize that some of the hosts of this podcast about cartoons are immature.

Listen on iTunes, Stitcher or right here.

Episode 11- Jem and the Holograms

Friends, we are back and we watched the most Eighties show that ever Eightied, "Jem and the Holograms." We watched the pilot episode, which, unbeknownst to us, was a two-parter, so we have no clue how the story ends. I don't know when our collective rear ends will be off the collective edges of our collective seats, but, boy oh boy, cliffhanger tension! 

In this episode you can thrill as we (the three guys) try to talk much more about the X-men cartoon from the 90s (including the world's greatest idea, the Saved By the Bell/X-men crossover), we debate the differences between a "drive through" and a "drive in", and we discuss the magic formula of the show's songs (repeat the title over synthesizers), the show's weird sexual innuendo, plus Tim and Sean's great impressions of all the characters, especially the ones who sound like Walter Brennan as a prospector.  

Listen, enjoy, and why not subscribe on iTunes, eh?

Listen on iTunes, Stitcher or right here.

Episode 10- Garfield in Disguise aka Garfield's Halloween Adventure

It's still Halloween season so our spooktacular celebration of Halloween continues with Garfield's Halloween special "Garfield in Disguise" aka "Garfield's Halloween Adventure" aka "Garfield Meets the Harlem Globetrotters."  

Our discussion (for some reason) begins and ends with ABC TV's "The Middle" but also how terrifying this special actually was to a five year old kid (extremely), the delightful sounds of Lou Rawls (or possibly Dr. John, one of them), the surprisingly violent ways Garfield captures lasagna, some general hatred of 90s ska as a genre, and of course we debate the worst kinds of candies to get on Halloween. 

Join us won't you? Enjoy it, we spookily dare you!

Listen on iTunes, Stitcher or right here.

Sell me lies, sell me sweet little lies.

I’ve worked in the children’s media industry as a researcher and consultant for almost a decade and one of the most interesting lessons I've learned is people who advertise to kids don’t always care about kids. It’s not that people hate kids, I’m sure the CEO of Acme Toys would try to save a drowning eight-year-old but when it comes to things like advertising and accurate representations of a company’s product, then that CEO couldn’t give a fudge about sugar as to whether that eight-year-old is getting a fair deal. 

Unfortunately, when I’m part of project where I know that the product being advertised is an exaggerated version of what the real product is, I get super unhappy because I remember what it felt like to get ripped off and it sucked. The process went something like this:

1. Save up/beg for money
2. Wait for months.
3. Annoy parent/caregiver to the point of hatred as to when I could be driven to Toys R Us.
4. Make Oregon-Trail-like-journey to store.
5. Make Oregon-Trail-like-journey home (length of trip was doubled due to the anxiety brought on by mom not driving home fast enough).
6. Using product for first time.
7. Feelings of but no words for sensation of getting dicked over.
8. Begin saving money for next product.

I try to explain this experience to people who hire me and sometimes I’m effective in causing some type of change in their strategy and other times I’m not. It's uphill battle for sure but what keeps me inspired to fight on are those burning memories of getting super hosed by the ad man and wanting to prevent that for the next child. 

Episode 9- Pac-Man

It's Halloween season, which means only one thing- it's mid- to late- October!

In honor of the season, we watched the Halloween episode of Pac-Man which had the segments "Pacula" and "Trick or Chomp."

In this episode, we compare Andrea to Vincent D'Nofrio in Full Metal Jacket, we name-check some listerners, and discuss the seasonally-appropriate horror of what Lark Voorhies has turned herself into, our collective regret that "Pacula" was not a Pac-pun of "Scott Bakula," the no-doubt excitement of Pac-Wars, which is the Pac-World's Star Wars, with realistic Galaga-type action and the appeal of the baby-holding-ovaries scene in Devil's Advocate over the appeal of this cartoon we watched. Also, Mort Fisherman, our esteemed and mysterious booking agent, secured an interview with Inky, one of the ghosts from Pac-Man's rogues' gallery.

Enjoy this spook-erific episode. You could do us a favor of subscribing and maybe telling a friend, why not?

Listen on iTunes, Stitcher or right here.

Episode 8- Captain N: The Gamemaster

We're back with a new episode. It is the very first episode that features fewer than the full lineup of Deathgrippers. But Sean, Andrea and Giancarlo do tell you where Tim is. He's not dead, that much this podcast description can tell you.

In today's episode, we watched the pilot episode of "Captian N: The Gamemaster," which is either a big Nintendo ad, possibly Nintendo's attempt to remake "The Big Chill" with its characters or maybe even Joseph Campbell's response to Star Wars. We explore all of the possibilities! You'll also hear all about the buxom King Hippo, the incredibly annoying portrayal of some Nintendo B-listers, the only slightly less annoying cartoon trope of the villain raising his voice to impersonate the heroine to throw off the hero and the hero buying it, and most amazing of all, Andrea's amazing impression of the amazing Levi Stubbs. And of course, our booking agent, Mort Fisherman, landed us Megaman for the interview segment.

Listen here or head to iTunes to listen/download/subscribe (you should really subscribe)! Enjoy! Also, please tell, like, one other person about us! We'll love you all the more for it.

Episode 7- "Spider-Man and His Amazing Friends"

Welcome back, we sound semi-professional now except for occasional knocks on a microphone from an unnamed person!

For today's episode, we watched "Spider-Man and His Amazing Friends" episode "Video Man". We talked about overly complex death traps, the awful Miss Lion, tight cartoon buns, an important PSA about the scourge of "razorballs", a visit from star of "Spider-Man and His Amazing Friends", Flash Thompson and even more special visit from Droop-fus. You won't know if you don't listen!

Subscribe or download from iTunes or listen right here! The world's your oyster in terms of listening to this episode.

Pop culture's "Do the..." dances

There are two types of people in this world (maybe four): people who like to dance and people who hate it desperately. I don’t understand people who like to dance. All that arm and leg flailing, all that moving around. Not to mention those people watching you while you flail and move; the people judging you, thinking, “that guy looks ridiculous” or maybe “that guy looks like he has neuromuscular disorder.” Can you guess which type of person I am?I admire people who can dance skillfully.

I understand why Gene Kelly would allow himself to be filmed dancing. But the average Joe (I say Joe because I think women seem to innately understand, enjoy and are able to dance without appearing like they have ataxia induced by a brain parasite) dancing escapes my comprehension. But that's just me.

The most mind boggling dances, though, are those big choreographed group dances. You know, like you're at a wedding and some song comes on and suddenly it's like the "I've Got a Lot Living to Do" scene in Bye Bye Birdie (excuse me for watching a lot of TCM. Also, Anne Margaret in that movie… geez. Where was I?) You know the songs: "Electric Slide," "The Hustle," "YMCA," and the song with the guy telling you to "take a walk" and "cha cha" (through laborious research I have discovered its actually called "the cha-cha slide". Also, look at all of those bloody things!) I don't know how people know all the moves. Where do they learn. Even the friggin' "YMCA" is more than just the stupid letters (also, how a song that appears to be anonymous homosexual liaisons at a gym became popular for weddings, parties and the most annoying mid-inning groundskeeping in baseball, I will literally never know). My point is: these group dances are intimidating because it's more than just a dance, it's the same exact dance that everyone is doing. Not only do you have to a) dance, b) dance with lots people able to see you, you also c) have to do it just like everyone else or you stand out and look like a real maroon*.

Old movies have merit, people.

Garbage Pail Kids: Where Are They Now?

Like so many young children in the 80s, I eagerly hopped aboard the Garbage Pail Kid train. Where was it going? I didn’t know. Presumably someplace disgusting that involved a fair amount of word play. And despite having no memory of either playing with or trading them, I recall my stack of Kids being incredibly precious to me. Therefore, it seems a blog entry would be fair tribute for an item that I’ve convinced myself gave me a lot of joy.

While conducting extensive research for this hard-hitting post, I was surprised to learn that the Garbage Pail Kids were the brainchild of none other than Art Spiegelman (specifically the Art Spiegelman who won the Pulitzer Prize). Indeed, before skimming the Wiki page, if you had asked me who created these infamous cards the first words out of my mouth would have been, “Well certainly not Art Spiegelman.” It just goes to show that I’ll never be able to get into the mind of the world’s leading graphic/comic artist for all things Holocaust related.

Anyway, to confirm your suspicions - yes, the Garbage Pail Kids did hold international appeal as well.  And the best part of discovering that fact is learning how the name translated. In Italy, they were known as “The Snotlings.” France went with the more genteel “The Filthies.” And Germany, unforgiving as ever, referred to them as “The Totally Broken Kids.”

Some of the cache they earned aboard obviously stems from the fact that these cards captured their subjects in the prime of their youth. Indeed, we bear witness to a time when they were fresh and full of possibility. I thought it might be a good idea to check in with a few of them and investigate the direction in which their lives went.

Episode 6- Hulk Hogan's Rock 'n' Wrestling

We are back with audio that sounds competent! As we inch closer to professional sounding audio, we bring you the latest Saturday Morning Deathgrip.

The show we watched was 1985's "Hulk Hogan's Rock 'n' Wrestling" which is not as good as we remembered, and most of us didn't remember it being good. In the course of our discussion, we talk about just how terrible animation and writing can be, Sean breaks down the anatomy of terrible sketch, using the show's live-action interstitials as an example, the joys of marching in Tampa, Andre the Giant's carelessness with details while giving rub downs, and the upside-down world of Bizarro Hulk Hogan. We also have a visit from none other than the animated "Rowdy" Roddy Piper. Not the real one. We could not land that guy.

Subscribe or download from iTunes or listen right here! Enjoy! Tell a friend!

1989 Batman - The Warner Bros. Ballcap

For some reason, I used to absolutely love the promos that they had before the main feature on VHS tapes. I can’t tell you how much I used to enjoy the trailers for OTHER Universal Stuidos Monster films before I ended up watching the main movie that I popped in (probably “Frankenstein Meets The Wolfman”). 

I forgot how amazing this poster was. HOW?!

1990s Comic Book Ads- Action Comics #662

When I’m home in Springfield, MA (The 413, baby!), I often don’t bring anything to read. Lucky for me, there is no shortage of books, from Sandburg’s Abraham Lincoln: The War Years (this edition) to the novelization of The Fugitive (this edition- that went through multiple printings, right?). I am never wanting for something to read, and I often do want something to read. 

Along with those books, though, I have my old comic book collection. I collected comics for years. The first comics I remember getting were the Archie Comics TMNT Adventures (which started as a straight comic adaptation of the cartoon and then expanded into its own universe. It was actually pretty good (unless Jim Lawson drew it... grrr). I switched to Superman, Batman and the X-titles in the early 90s, and continued for years (for the record, this stopped me reading DC Comics and this stopped me reading Marvel.)

So, even now, as an adult, I still read comics (Marvel Unlimited is well worth $60/year). But reading my old, actual comics that my mom put in a big plastic container in our basement brings back memories. Those old stories are fun, and I’m a sucker for well drawn comics (Oh yeah? Then why do you have Liefeld-era issues of X-Force? Great question, me.) so I love to pick up my old comics. And, really, nothing takes me back to the late 80s and 90s like the ads in those books. So I decided I would take you, the dear readers of Saturday Morning Deathgrip, on a trip into the deepest, darkest regions of February 1991: Action Comics #662*.

*Incidentally, you can get a nice summary of the story content of Action 662, the story in which Lois Lane finally learns that Clark Kent is Superman here. Bob McLeod’s art is pretty rock solid, in my opinion. 

Episode 5- Bots Master

We're back with another edition of Saturday Morning Deathgrip. Courtesy of Giancarlo's apparently demented childhood, it was Laser Time as we watched the pilot episode of "Bots Master," a show designed for people who loved early 90s hip hop but may have thought that "Do the Urkel" was both too risque in lyrical content and too subdued in musical construction.

In today's episode, our topics include Andrea's staunch Libertarianism, the perfect Kevin Costner movie, people with names that are, purely by coincidence, one letter off from a famous person's, and Giancarlo's deviant behavior (nothing new there, amirite?).

Thanks for listening, please subscribe, tell your friends, and don't litter on your way out of wherever you are at the moment you read this.

Download from iTunes (or subscribe and review- pretty, pretty please) or listen right here!

Freezy Freakies

I hate to kick off my inaugural SMDG post by getting all controversial but I don’t much care for winter.  Sure, the season might conjure up charming images of snow kissed trees, rustic fireplaces, Sonny Bono skiing into a tree.  But no matter how much joy one can derive from sticking carrots into balls of snow, it’s impossible to redeem the moment when the temperature dips low enough that it feels as though you forgot to put on pants.  And, more importantly, hypothermia doesn’t complement my natural skin tone.


Elton John in summer doesn't go with my skin tone, either (source).

Of course, as a child, I hated having to bundle up once late November hit.  I didn’t want to arm myself against the elements so much as complain about them.  Zipping up jackets, wearing mittens, donning ski caps – winter apparel felt so restrictive.  Who wants to be entombed in cotton or Thinsulate?  Nature was trying to straight jacket us all and it had convinced the fashion industry to its bidding (typical move fashion industry, typical move)! 

Episode 4- Denver the Last Dinosaur

Our fourth episode, with improvement in 3/4 of the audio and regression on Andrea's audio. I swear, we're on the verge of massive breakthrough on audio quality.

In our latest episode, we turn our attention (and our occasionally wonky audio) to the 80s biggest innovation in television animation: the syndicated cartoon. The honor goes to none other than the Denver the Last Dinosaur episode, "Chinatown Caper." We talk a lot about Chinatown architecture, cats shaped like Rihanna and we get to sit down for a very real and disturbing interview with a surprise guest star from the show. 

Thanks for listening!

Download from iTunes (or subscribe and review- pretty, pretty please) or listen right here!

Ghostbusters 2 Coloring Book

If you were like me, you LOVED Ghostbusters as a kid. As in, the Real Ghostbusters, not the stupid ghost busting ape that Filmation had. (Don’t be fooled, that phrase makes it sound much cooler than it actually was). In the summer of 1989, the feature film Ghostbusters 2 came out and a 4 year old Sean saw it in theaters. Why would my parents take a 4 year old to a film that has scary ghosts, a painting trying to possess a baby and a mink coat coming alive to try to eat its owner? Because they loved me.

I had many pieces of Ghostbusters merchandise.A few years ago, I found an odd piece of memorabilia - the Ghostbusters 2 coloring book. What makes it odd? Well, let me walk you through a bit of it.

Keep in mind this has spoilers for both the movie and coloring book of Ghostbusters 2. So ... yeah.

Pg. 5

We can see why Viggo picks Oscar as a surrogate as he’s already the creepiest baby that’s ever lived.

ALF Colorforms

Gifts from family can be hit or miss, especially when you’re a kid. I think every person who would be reading this (all, you know, six of you) knows this. For the family members who know you, you can get some awesome presents (my mom, who got me this beloved piece of my childhood for christmas 1989  or my oldest brother got me this beauty for my 10th birthday). Sadly, you can’t always get Capcom’s Darkwing Duck NES game. Sometimes you get ALF Colorforms. 

Colorforms, for the uninitiated, are apparently a “classic toy”. I say “classic” because they’ve been around since 1951 and have won honors, including a place on TIME’s 100 Greatest Toys list. If you’re really uninitiated, or just don’t want to read a Wikipedia article about Colorforms, they come in themes, often licensed ones). In each box, you got a laminated background and a series of vinyl cutout characters, props, and speech bubbles. The vinyl adhered to the laminated cardboard, so you could put your colorforms on the background and then... um... peel them off and stick them back on?

They'll do any license, evidently.

I’ll be honest, I don’t get colorforms. Take that Real Ghostbusters one I linked to. Ray looks like he’s farting. And Ray will always look like he’s farting. He doesn’t move. Which leads to people doing this. Additionally, since the characters were designed to stick to the background, you couldn’t really move them around. I really just don’t get this as a “toy”. Maybe as a kid who drew lots of pictures (ahem...), I preferred drawing characters (I wish I still had any of my approximately googolplex of GB drawings). As an 8 year old, I could not draw a screen-accurate Ray, but I could make him do more than look like he had too many beans for lunch. 

Episode 3- Monster in My Pocket

Our third episode, with more marginally improved sound quality!

Today, we watched the 1992 special "Monster in my Pocket" (we have trouble getting a handle on the title in the episode- it's just that good!) Not only do we discuss the reasons this might not have made it as a series, we also talk about some bizarre interpretations of classic monsters (Dracula hypnotizing through a ring? Woody Allen the mummy? An anthropomorphic pile of feces?), the show's inappropriate use of Jamaican culture, the proper classification of birds, and how we all might mathematicians, er, chaoticians. Also, there's a good chance the room we were in had a gas leak, because none of us seemed to be able to, you know, think good.

Thanks for listening and enjoy!

Download from iTunes (or subscribe, pretty please) or listen right here!

Episode 2- X-men: Pryde of the X-men

We're back with episode 2- now with slightly better audio quality (we're gettig there; give us a break, we're new at this).

For episode 2 we watched the 1987 pilot for a unproduced X-men series "Pryde of the X-men". The conversation includes a LOT about the X-men, what circuits looks like, the sensibility of destroying a planet you want to conquer, the disturbing concept of "Hulking out" with middle-aged women, and the always appropriate discussion of Josef Fritzi. 
Thanks for listening!

Download from iTunes (or subscribe, pretty please) or listen right here!

Episode 1- Cartoon All-Stars to the Rescue

The very first Saturday Morning Deathgrip- a podcast where four adults watch and discuss saturday morning cartoons from the 80s and 90s.

Today, we discuss "Cartoon All-Stars to the Rescue," the 1990 anti-drug PSA featuring stars of the era's most popular cartoons. Topics include an awful lot on the plot of the show, how poor our Winnie the Pooh impressions are, how much George C Scott sounds like Robert Loggia, the dangers of cerebral spinal fluid leaking out of your nose, the possibility of Smurfs as voyeurs, and the potential horrors of fanfic.

Subscribe, comment and enjoy!

Download from iTunes (or subscribe, pretty please) or listen right here!

Welcome to Saturday Morning Deathgrip

Welcome to Saturday Morning Deathgrip's website of the podcast called "Saturday Morning Deathrgip."

Who are we? Well, at our most basic, we are four people (Sean, Giancarlo, Andrea and Tim). We come from diverse areas (ranging from the northeast of the United States, all the way to the southeast of the United States). We have equally diverse backgrounds (one of us is female- BUT WHICH ONE?*). Inspired by the very podcasts we listen to, we decided to begin a self indulgent journey into entertaining at least ourselves. We all met doing various things on the NYC comedy scene and in some combination have been performing improv and scripted comedy with each other since at least 2009. So when you hear us going off on a tangent about farts, you're hearing the finely honed comedy skills of four adults who are desperate for attention.

*Andrea

"What did we want to talk about?" That was a question that was asked by someone (Tim). We didn't want to pigeon hole the show too much, so we eliminated the really niche ideas like "Baltimore Orioles second basemen in the early 90s"* and "Richard Karn's merit as host of Family Feud"**. 
*Sorry Billy Ripken
**Bandwith would also limit those lengthy discussions. 

Movie podcasts have been done. Bad movie podcasts, which do lend themselves to comedy and such, also have been done (I will pimp the heck out of The Flophouse .) So we settled on something that three of us knew well and one of us did not- saturday morning cartoons from when we were kids. Sean, Tim and Giancarlo (Catholics all) did not attend Hebrew School. Andrea (not a Catholic) did. She missed out on Eek! the Cat. Until now.

So join us on our journey to the saturday mornings of our (Tim, Sean and GC's) youths and Andrea's present.